Decisions

Lonely.

Dove.

 

Our decisions shape our lives. Whether intentional or not, what we choose has a great impact on the outcome of things. There are times in life when you think back on what would have happened if you didn’t take the road you did. What if you chose  something else?  Would my life be on the same path as now if I chose to do that instead of this? Some of the decisions we make, are things we are proud of. But some of them, we regret. Some would say the only thing to do then is move forward. Forget it. It’s in the past. But never forget the lesson it brought you, because at one point in the future, you might come across the same scenario, and at that point, you should be better off in making the decision.

For a while now, that sort of thing didn’t bother me. If it’s in the past, forget it. The emotions, the memories – fade them away. Tuck them in the dusty corner of your mind and leave them there. It never bothered me as much as until now. What, I suddenly get a conscience now, of all times? I guess, it just doesn’t feel fair now. That I knowingly inflicted pain on someone. Though he might be better off not talking to me. He might have moved on already. But I haven’t. I want to patch things up. But i have no idea how to. It’s one of those decisions I made where it continuously circles in the back of my mind, not wanting to fade. And I’m stuck at a dead end.

I don’t know if he still feels the same way. Or if he even felt the same emotions as he said. I don’t know how he feels now. But I was wrong when I told him those things. It wasn’t true, but I was angry. And I still hurt him. And that’s something I want to take back. I want to know how he feels. I need to know so I’m not left waiting for something to happen, when it might not.

Help me. Forgive me. Talk to me.

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