Why be angry?
I drive everyone away with my anger. It is better that way I guess. That way they won’t get hurt more. Hanging around with me isn’t such a great thing. I almost always drag everyone down with me. And if that doesn’t happen., words would start flying and I would almost always hurt someone emotionally if not physically. It’s why I’ve always kept to myself. No one talking to me or caring,. no one would get hurt.
I’m annoyed at how much people would care, really. I know I don’t deserve it, but they do it nonetheless. I know they mean well but couldn’t they just leave me alone to deal with it on my own? Their “comforting words” just make me feel bad about myself, and makes me want to lash out more. As if I couldn’t see it for myself, those that they’re trying to tell me. I’m not dumb. But is it really that much of a task to just leave me alone, to give me space? I don’t need their pity. And their pity for me makes me angrier. I’m not someone who would break like glass, so why treat me like one?
Honestly., who would really think that anyone who is mad will do what you say? Most will do the opposite. Telling someone to see reason will make them angrier. What’s the point of trying to calm anyone down? Isn’t it better to let them lash out till there’s nothing more to be mad about? Until they have exhausted every reason to be mad at? That way they can express what they feel without destroying themselves or anyone.
Why ever be mad in the first place? It’s not just one thing that sets me off. Usually it’s a lot of little things all piling up at the same time. I don’t have the longest fuse, but most of the times, I do try. It’s just I’m not the most patient person in the world. Besides, most things that set me of are things I really care about. Do you think I’d make such a fuss if I didn’t care? And making me see reason when I’m mad isn’t the best way to talk to me. It’s either you’re with me or against me. Don’t try to be condescending and patronizing. Don’t even try to humor me. All that would just make me angrier. And that would make me lash out on you.
Don’t you think I feel bad afterwards my angry episode? I would always regret what I do afterwards. But it doesn’t help the fact that it made me feel slightly better. I lash out so others would feel what I’m feeling. Let you have a taste of what I’m going through, and then you can see for yourself if what you’re suggesting works.
This is one of the reasons why I don’t like making friends. I drive them away. So why meet them in the first place. A lot of people couldn’t stand my attitude and I couldn’t care less. Accept me as who I am and don’t try to change me. If you want to change me, why not look for some other friend who fits the description you want and talk to her? It’s not like I’m forcing myself on you. Go find a friend that you can talk to with no worries. Someone who doesn’t stress you out. I don’t fit that description. I’m me and I don’t think me and my attitude will be changing anytime soon.